The Adventures of GirlyMan
by Shangri-La
Summary: Two ninjas named Rooster Head and Sly Fox kidnap Koaru so Kenshin must transform into his superhero alias to save her


Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin and I actually got this idea from my church youth group. They do all kinds of fun, crazy stuff *grins* Enjoy!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Setting: A dirty garage with a table and two chairs. Sano, wearing a black cloak with a hood that nearly covers his face, is sitting in one, and Megumi, dressed the same, is sitting in the other. Pacing in front of them is Saito, who is looking very wise and very old at the moment.  
  
Saitou: I cannot stand that dojo brat! We must eliminate him! Fox Sly, Rooster Head, you shall bring him to me immediately!  
  
*Things turn to slow motion and Fox Sly (Megumi, duh) gets up and does a very slow, very cheesy looking combination of kicks and punches. Rooster Head (aka Sano) rises and does the same*  
  
~Cuts to scene of the two 'ninjas' stealthily sneaking along the wall of the dojo at night, tiptoeing in a hunched over manner with their hands, wrists bent so that their fingers point down, are raised nearly to their chins. They launch into a fast mode and the tiptoeing becomes about three times faster as they run/tiptoe over to the bath house and wait~  
  
*Yahiko comes out of the dojo and walks over to the bath house, somehow not seeing Sano and Megumi even though they are in very plain sight, although we have to give Sano credit for holding a an almost leafless branch in front of his face. His mind is finally expanding.*  
  
*Megumi begins to try to attack, but her cloak is stuck on a bush and she can't move*  
  
Sano: AHHHH!! *leaps forward and begins to beat Yahiko with the branch*  
  
Yahiko: OUCH!!!!  
  
*Sano hits him again*  
  
Yahiko: OUCH!!!  
  
*Saitou comes out and pokes Yahiko. Things go into slow motion again as he flies back off the ground and glides a few feet before landing, unconscious*  
  
*Sano, Megumi, and Saitou do a victory dance similar to the funky chicken*  
  
Koaru: *walking out and seeing the scene* WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! *passes out from the stupidity of it all*  
  
*Saitou, Megumi, and Sano stop dancing, deciding to take her hostage. Leaving Yahiko alone, they drag off Koaru.*  
  
MEANWHILE..  
  
*Kenshin is inside, reading the paper, but stops and listens to the silence. Crickets chirp.*  
  
Kenshin: *heroically* I hear someone in trouble! I must help! *dives under table, disappears for a few seconds, and then pops back up, now a....girl. Heck, he looked like one before, so why not? His hair is up in a bun and he is wearing a flowered kimono as well as white make-up and red lipstick.* I am...Girly Man!  
  
~Back at the garage, Saitou, Sano, and Megumi are eating rice and handling their chopsticks poorly, dropping everything. Koaru is tied up in the corner.~  
  
Koaru: *wailing pitifully* WHY MEEEEEE??? I'm too bad a cook to die!!! WHYYYYY??? WHYYY?!?!  
  
Sano: Shut up!  
  
*Kenshin, er, um.... 'Girly Man' is sneaking down the stairs, arms spread and back to the wall. He, she...let's say 'it' is grinning insanely and stops halfway to place it's palms on either side of it's face and smile very scarily, tilting his head from side to side in a hyper way*  
  
Kenshin: *bursting into the room and speaking in a voice that's gender is impossible to identify* Ah ha! I have found you! Now I will rescue the girl!  
  
Saitou: Rooster head! Stop...IT!  
  
*Slow motion again as Sano gets up and walks forward, a rap version of 'Kung Fu Fighting' beginning to play. They begin to fight, once again looking very fake, and don't even touch one another until Girly Man pulls Rooster Head's hair and he falls over, defeated.*  
  
Saitou: Augh!! Fox Sly, stop that thing!  
  
*More rap, this time in Spanish....*  
  
*Fox Sly fights for just a few seconds before she has a heart attack and dies for no apparent reason. She's a doctor, too. You think she would've seen that one coming.*  
  
Saitou: *fleeing* Curse you, Girly Man!  
  
Girly Man: Now I shall rescue the damsel! *unties Kaoru and helps her up* Tell me, what is your name?  
  
Kaoru: My name is Kaoru.  
  
Girly Man: *smiling and looking her over* A very ugly name, for a very ugly girl.  
  
Kaoru: *looking at him strangely* Thanks... Wait a minute!  
  
~~~~~  
  
*Back at the dojo*  
  
Girly Man: My work here is done. I have rescued the damsel and the dojo brat is gone for good. No, wait... Oh well, I never liked him anyway! *throws back head and laughs* Now I must return to my alias. *dives under table and comes back out as Kenshin*  
  
And so ends the adventures of Girly-Man...at least for now.  
  
~~~~~  
  
REVIEW!!!! I might write another, but I'm not so sure... What do you all think? If I get enough feedback I will. 


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